How I feel
Posted on: August 29, 2010
Helpless, useless, not good enough.
I can’t say that it’s solely to do with L’s bipolar, it’s probably more of an overall parental thing, but the bipolar really makes me see it/feel it/be it. Helpless.
I try so hard to help, to get him into the right doctors, to see the right people, to make things easier with school, to sort out life’s problems. To stand by him. To be there for him. To listen to him.
I feel so bad when it doesn’t work, or it doesn’t help. Sometimes I back off, feeling like I’m doing too much, involving myself too much, but that makes me feel bad too.
What is the right thing to do? When should I be involved and when should I back off?
He’s never been good with taking medications, but if I remind him to take them, I cop attitude. If I don’t remind him, then his mood suffers and we all suffer. I cop shit if I help him, I cop shit if I don’t. It’s a no win situation.
It hurts.
Strange Apple's Blog 
August 29, 2010 at 10:34 pm
I’ve got no answers, just hugs.
….and maybe let you know that I think you are fantastic, caring, thoughtful Mum who I admire.