Strange Apple's Blog

Archive for October 2010

Random musings as I wait with my Mum and Dad before my Dad goes in for surgery:

Do nurses intentionally mumble when they call out patient names? I’m in a room full of mostly oldies and when a name is called, everyone looks around as if to say “did she just call me, is anyone else getting up? It must be me. Is it me? Oh, it’s not me.”

My parents have learned that it is best to let me arrange accommodation. As much as I love my brother, booking us into a 4 storey hotel with no lifts is not the best idea when your Dad can barely walk and your Mum has bad knees. Yes, it’s cheap but I think we would have gladly paid the $15 or $20 extra to save their strength (and dignity).

Eldest insomniac child (young man) is house sitting for my parents. His facebook page has many updates overnight including photos of random objects around my parents’ house.

I’m still laughing about finding myself in the wrong section of David Jones department store yesterday. “ooh, I like that handbag” *checks price tag* $2750 *moves on quickly*

David Koch should have stuck to giving financial advice. Sunrise shits me.

I wish the guy behind me would stop wriggling in his chair.

I want to be one of those impeccably dressed old ladies when I’m old. This is a nice thought, but given that I’m incredibly lazy, I’ll probably end up one of those old ladies with short hair that stands straight up and wearing trakky daks.

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I was really looking forward to blogging tonight. I had something positive to share, and it’s a bit of a win really… but then, as always… there’s something new that’s bringing me down.

So, good news first. I received a phone call from the school, L’s application for special provisions in the HSC has been approved after our appeal. 🙂 L had been having a bit of a rant about it the other day, so it’s been on his mind.

We haven’t received the notice in writing yet, I wonder if they addressed any of my concerns about the application process?

And the bad news – I was feeding the mice tonight, and noticed several mice missing from one tub. What? I called the teenage boys out, and said “has anyone knocked over one of the mouse tubs” and A said “why?”

Well of course, that response was a dead giveaway. Apparently it was knocked over at about 3am in the morning, and he thought he’d picked up all the mice. Umm… no.

Have I mentioned that I have cats? And that one cat would happily eat every single mouse I own? I’ve managed to find one mouse, but I’m still missing three. I feel sick at the thought that the cat has been in the house all day and may have eaten them.

What to say?

I’m sitting here with glassy eyes, feeling like I’m going to cry, wanting to cry and release things on one hand, not wanting to cry and give in to emotions on the other.

Looking at things objectively, the stuff I want to cry about today is probably stuff I’d laugh at and brush off any other day. But today, it hurts, I’m left questioning how it is that I am such a fuck up of a mother.

Yep, that sentence did it, here come the tears. Enough that my 10-year-old son has come out of his room to check that I’m OK and give me a hug. Oh well, at least that’s one child that loves me. Shall we give him, oh, say six years and he’ll be hating me too?

And the thing is, that there are people out there with much larger problems than mine. I can think of three on my Facebook friends list without trying, and they’re the ones whose problems I know of. In the big scheme of things, my life is cruisy. Why does it feel so shit then?

Someone needs to slap some sense into me.

PS I do not condone violence. Maybe someone should hug some sense into me.



  • None
  • strangeapple: I don't like to fail, and I feel like I've failed. I think that's what it is. Big knock to my ego. I saw a psych the other week, she made sense, p
  • strangeapple: Holy fuck, I had a doctors appointment this evening that I didn't go to. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
  • corymbia: I do the stiff upper lip thing too. Was worried I was slipping into bona-fide depression last week, but as is usually the case with me... the bad stu

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